Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Real World Horror: Heretical History isn't Helpful...

     Barrack Obama is by no means the greatest president we've ever had. He's probably not even in the top five... but one thing that he is is a smart man who knows history, both constitutional and otherwise. It was his job to know it and the driving force behind his own legal career.
     So when I read the headline, "Obama removes Under God from Gettysburg address!", I have to ask a simple question:
     Which one?

     In total there are five drafts for the Gettysburg Address, the first being the one our Commander-in-Chief just read off. The first, better known as the Nicolay Version, and the second drafts were written by Lincoln before the speech, while the third, fourth and fifth were written afterwards for charity auctions.
     So as I sit back, nursing my aching bones with a fresh cup of herbal tea, I get to read about the schmucks at the Liberty Counsel whine and moan that Obama didn't use the godly version. He did this for Ken Burns for his website, and read the version he was handed. I assume he had it checked over to make sure it was an accurate one, and for that I thank him.
     This is when my head hurts the worst... when History revisionists don't even realize how wrong they are. Go forth into the darkened night, dear readers, and research this for yourself. Education such as this needs to be addressed, and quickly dealt with...

Sunday, November 17, 2013

Lover's Graveyard, Part Three

“If we can prove to him that nothings here, then maybe he’ll finally have some closure over this.” Jesse finished, throwing the end of the joint into the fire before taking a long pull from his beer.

Real World Horror: A Meat Market by Any Other Name...

     As with every Sunday, I venture forth from my safe sepulcher into the wide open world with my father. I sit here now, numbing the pain of being around crowds through cheap liquor, slowly easing the stress of being around the unwashed masses from my tensed muscles.
     One thing that I do, whenever I venture forth, is of course watch those around me. Sitting in a book store at a popular coffee shop sipping my normal coffee whilst my father reads his magazines, I get to see the various heathens wander about and chat.
     As I sipped my coffee, I got to listen to one such conversation to my right, where a tattooed girl sat with her friend, reading a book on, of all things, astrology.
     "I just don't know if I can go out with him if he's a Taurus..." Tattoo says as she sips her caramel coated whipped cream drink, "that just doesn't mesh with my own star sign, you know?" 

A great way to determine your day to day life!

     I merely rolled my eyes at this and got up to fetch a magazine on writing, which I couldn't find. As I returned to my seat without a new source of reading material, I got to listen to a tirade of epic proportions about what she needs from her potential lover, someone who's aura must match hers.
    Luckily this was around the time that my father decided it was time to go and run an errand. I pressed him for us to hurry as I could hardly put up with the vapid beliefs of the new age hippie woman of the coffee shop.
     I must say, that while I am a skeptic in most regards, I am well aware there are questions that I have no answer for. Where did the world come from? How did life start? These are questions that I think we don't even need answers for, as they will not have a truly profound effect on how we live.
     Or so I believe.

     Sweet Dreams

Real Life Mass Exorcism

     Well readers, as you may have realized I'm one for equal treatment (for both the living and dead!), and am proud to say another state will be signing into law granting same-sex marriage. Way to go Illinois!
     This, of course, brings out the loons and nut jobs from the religious sector. Queue Bishop Thomas Paprocki to ring the loon bell. According to the Bishop, who plans to hold a mass exorcism for the state on November 20th, he plans to hold an exorcism as the bill is signed into law, in order to battle the sin against the Catholic church.
     Not a practicing Catholic myself, I had to actually look this up after I stopped laughing and indeed did find out as of 2010 one can perform exorcisms on events that oppose the Catholic church. How this works, I'm not certain... I think it just makes them look a tad silly.
Crazy priest approves of this exercise... we must rid the political world of demons!

     The above image is not of the bishop, just of another crazy priest I found, but then again I find them all a little crazy. 
     Not that I'm the most sane person in the world.
     I may not believe in demons, but I seriously doubt a mass exorcism over a vague political landscape would have any effect on anything... from what I understand the recipient of the exorcism must be somewhat willing to have this ritual performed on them.
     So what if just one person in Illinois resists the exorcism? Does that mean it's fruitless? If so, then I would assume this attempt at saving the state's soul is in serious danger, as I know of at least one atheist in Illinois.
     And what if the exorcism rights of one bishop doesn't provide enough juice to cover the whole state? This is a small state, I'll give you that, but this is a wide area of effect we're talking about here. Does one Bishop pack enough Jesus-Juice to hit that wide an area?
     So we have a bunch of homosexuals who can now get married, legislators that led to this "corruption," and voters who are complicit in getting these official elected.
     That's a lot of souls to cleanse of the devils influence in one go. You know, come to think of it... I wonder how many of those people are non-Christian? Can you even perform an exorcism on a non-Christian? At least while using a Christian ritual?
     I don't know, but we'll find out the 20th!